I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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