Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
