Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Randomize
