I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
