happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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