i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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