I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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