addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
