I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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