Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
