Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
