Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
