Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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