When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
