I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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