Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
