Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize