her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
