the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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