You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
