What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
