Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
