i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
