There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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