So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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