I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
