and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
