so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
