Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
