that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
