last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize