he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
