I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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