Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
