Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Your penis caused this!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
