Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
either way he was missing a nipple.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
