My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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