Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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