So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize
