BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
