If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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