You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
