all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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