definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
