At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
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