and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
