they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm at about main and main street
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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