the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
