So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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