; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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