Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
