We're facebook friends in real life
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
