when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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