what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
