She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize